True stories with a twist!

How much longer will it be? What’s happening: have you heard any news? Has anyone issued a statement?

I could get more information from a Ouija Board.

I love technology and staying current with new innovations. So why is Apple making it so difficult to buy an ipad 2? I will not be defeated, turned away or ignored. We’ve heard about the shortages and wait lists for the device but are determined to have one.

My husband and I plan a foolproof method to get hold of an iPad 2. Our  approach is as delicate as planning a bank robbery, judging from the movies we’ve seen over the years. One Monday morning we set the alarm to awaken us before 6A.M. We head to the Short Hills Mall to be first in line at The Apple Store. We don’t stop for breakfast, thinking that diners open early and we’ll grab something at the mall. The mall opens by 7:30AM to accommodate walkers and workers. Or walking workers. Or working walkers. The excitement of this venture makes me giddy.

We arrive at the mall parking lot and Harvey says, “You get a head start. I’ll park the car and meet you there.” I head purposefully inside.

Dragging themselves across the floor are exhausted people hiking the one and three quarter times around the mall for each mile they’ve been coerced to walk.

The Apple Store comes into view just as my cell phone rings and Harvey announces that he is has arrived inside the mall and is making his way towards me.

At 6:10 in the morning there is a long line outside the store. A bossy, irritating Apple employee is distributing numbers. He announces that the store has had a shipment today of 35 iPad 2s. We are number 51. So two and a half hours before the store opens it is already sold out. One would-be customer loudly yells, “I’ve been in line since 3:30 this morning.” Apple man, enjoying this opportunity to feel mighty and omnipotent, puffs himself up like a frog, and says in a haughty tone “Too bad, but we can’t sell  what we don’t have. Maybe we’ll have more tomorrow.” We are frustrated, angry and incredulous at this outcome. The rage I feel is hard to control. But there’s no point in confronting Mr. Important Person. It would just give him another power boost.

We’ll go home and order the iPad 2 on line.

“Where did you park the car?” I ask as we exit the mall.

“In the inside lot next to Saks,” he says forlornly.

We go upstairs, find Saks, exit the mall and find …nothing.  No car. “But I know I parked it here,” he says.

We head back inside to the security office, where the whole sad story is told to the  Schwartzeneger body double man on duty. “Sure, we’ll find your car for you.” I feel safe already. This strong giant looks as if he can do anything. But then he calls inside and says, “Carolina, these folks lost their car.” Carolina struts out, about one eighth the size of Schwartzenager-body-double-strong-giant security guard. They say size doesn’t matter and hopefully that is true. She starts asking questions. “What’s the license number?”

Silence.

“OK: what color is the car?”

“Blue” we say together. At least we remember something!

We walk as she chirps questions and comments. We are suddenly enervated from sleep deprivation, breakfast deprivation and ipad 2 deprivation. Not a drop of coffee, tea or Red Bull has passed our lips today.

Carolina finds the car and we escape to our warm, welcoming house.

We order the ipad 2 on line knowing that the wait will be six weeks. But we can sleep normal hours, enjoy sane quiet breakfasts at home, and share our soon to end morning ritual of leisurely reading the paper. Will we miss the sharing of sections that is our ritual now? Once the iPad 2 is here we will read the news on “the gadget.”

I look forward to eliminating the annoying task of tying and recycling newspapers.

If this works out we might find that, as with our cars, we are a two ipad 2 family.

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