True stories with a twist!

My high school teacher, Mrs. Campbell, always said, “It is rude to make fun of anybody’s name.”

I tried to obey her wishes until I heard the name Zappos from a friend who bought her shoes from them. I didn’t want to be rude, so I tried to listen to the name without smirking, hiccuping or going cross eyed, trying not to laugh. It isn’t the name that is so funny, but my association with it.

Zappo sounds like a secret Marx brother: the sneaky one who zapped people when they weren’t looking.

I see the brothers in my mind: Chico, Harpo, Groucho Gummo and Zeppo. Harpo, the silent one, Groucho, the wisecracking one with the mustache, bushy eyebrows and cigar. Zeppo and his kid brother Zappo: doesn’t it fit perfectly? My image of him is a guy with a purple mohawk and red horn rimmed glasses.

In reality, Zappos is an online shoe company. It offers a long picture catalogue of shoes for different tastes or lack thereof. What customers like most is their policy of not charging for shipping, postage or pigeon express delivery.

On dull, dreary days or bright freezing ones you can wile away some time ordering funky shoes in outrageous colors just for fun, and return them when something more important arises, like the call to the QVC network.

Recently I received a serious warning in an email from Zappos. It said that their computers had been hacked. Personal information may have been stolen. How frightening!

Now I live in fear that someone may be lurking around, looking for a woman wearing size 8 1/2 shoes, who prefers flats to high heels, understated classic styles to showy, boisterous ones, and modest, not lavish prices.

What could happen if the shoe hackers find me? My closet would go beserk. My Patent Leather shoes might unleash the Uggs, the Nubucks slip away with the Sling Backs, the Ballet Slippers bond with the Boots.

I deserve whatever happens to me and my shoes, because I disregarded Mrs. Campbell’s serious warning about making fun of anyone’s name.

Comments on: "STEPPING IN STYLE" (23)

  1. “On dull, dreary days or bright freezing ones you can wile away some time ordering funky shoes in outrageous colors just for fun, and return them when something more important arises, like the call to the QVC network.”
    This caused me to chuckle out loud 😉
    (from a fellow flats wearer) – whoah – wait – patent leather!!?? Reminds me of Vaseline and dressing for church on Easter!

  2. Ronnie, hi. First of all, 😉 to your post! Second of all, would you like to participate in the “Unplugged” questionnaire? It’s not that you’re secretive about your life or your experiences (no, not at all) but I’m sure your other readers (myself included) would love to know a bit more about Ronnie. Want to? You can copy the questions from my site! I look forward to seeing what you surprise us with!

  3. arbohl said:

    This is too funny! I laughed when I first heard the name Zappos as well!

  4. My wife receives a Zappos box at least once a month. That woman loves shoes! I’ve learned to say often, “love your new shoes.” That way I’m always covered and usually right. I think I could sincerely say that if she ever shows up wearing the red ones you have at the start of your blog. Something about them gets me, well, going. Is that wrong? Don’t answer that!

  5. I have always loved Groucho Marxx. Wonder if I can get a date with his younger brother, Zappo. Naha – I like the red rimmed glasses but NOT the purple mohawk. Too bad, so sad. Hey, I can always buy new shoes. . . . Enjoy always, T

  6. What a riot, now I’m going to look at my shoes as if they have personality. It amazes me that Zappos has become an institution. What is it about shoes? I have shoes from a millions years ago in my closet! Don’t get me started on the kids baby shoes……

  7. That Zappos personal information leak is unnerving. Now I’ll be suffering from a shoe fetish AND paranoia!

  8. Wow, what funky shoes! I wonder who would wear the purple/green ones…perhaps Cruella de Ville?

  9. Returning shoes: I just never get around to it!! Hence a closet stuffed with random footwear that doesn’t go with anything. I blame online sales for most of it…

  10. I got that same e-mail. Let’s hope they think the people who buy the expensive shoes are the ones with better bank accounts.

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