Don’t tell me it’s age, because I’ve always had this problem. Don’t tell me it’s heritary, because nobody in my illustrious background had this problem. And I’ve researched back six generations. Don’t suggest information overload, because I always had lots of trivial facts to juggle.
I’ve always misplaced my keys. This problem is so overwhelming that I’ve taken to hiding spare keys in the garage, have hidden duplicate keys in the backyard, and have given emergency keys to neighbors. Several neighbors. Many neighbors. The handyman has a set, and does the man who helps with the cleaning of the aquariums (yes; I know it should be “aquaria,” but that sounds strange.) Why bother having keys at all, I sometimes wonder. Everyone but me can get into my house!
Would hypnosis help? “You are under my power. From now on you will always know the whereabouts of your keys. You may wake up now.”
Is there a twelve step program for people like me? “My name is Ronnie and I am a hopeless key loser. I realize that I am powerless over the power to find my keys.”
Psychotherapy? “When I was a child my mother threatened to lock me in a closet and throw away the key.”
I accept that I have a problem that will never be fixed. It’s part of who I am. It is what it is.
But yesterday my hairdresser said, “What happened to the cowlick that you used to have over here? It always made your hair form a wave on the left side. remember?”
Oh no: now I have lost my cowlick!
How can anybody lose a cowlick? Please help me with your suggestions. Where can my cowlick be?