“Hey, Ron,” comes the plaintive voice from the kitchen. “Where do your keep the ketchup?”
“In the refrigerator,” I shout from my office, where I am busily engaged in writing a new post for my blog.
“I don’t see it,” he complains.
“It’s on the second shelf, left side,” I direct.
“It’s not here!” he insists.
“Alright; I’ll be right there,” I say with a hint of annoyance in my voice.
I get up from the computer, walk out of my office, trek through the hall down to the kitchen, open the refrigerator door, look inside and in two seconds, hand him the bottle of ketchup.
“Oh,” he says. “You didn’t tell me you hid it behind the milk.”
Do men have congenital deformities that prevent them from finding anything? Is there a genetic determinant causing them to dismiss the concept of looking behind something to find what they seek?
This scene must replay in homes across the globe; I am convinced that it is universal.
Am I right? Do you agree? Please respond to this post and tell me if my allegation is true in your home.
MorristownMemos 
Comments on: "IT’S IN FRONT OF YOUR NOSE" (41)
It is in our genes, which scientists discovered when they mapped the human genome. If I remember correctly, it’s called the “if it were a snake it would have bitten me” gene.
Although I generally don’t admit to anything containing the word “genital” I will confess I was born with “congenital deformities.” Dating from earliest remembrances I have never been able to find anything in the refrigerator.
Unfortunately the comment section does allow one to post audio, or otherwise you could hear my wife yelling that you are her soul mate. 🙂
I hope I can count on your financial pledge in helping billions of men throughout the world overcome this devastating affliction. I, er we, take credit cards.
🙂
Great post…even if it does reveal an ugly male truth.
Be encouraged!
I am so encouraged that I am planning to take my new invention public. It is a refrigerated wall unit 8 feet long and only 16 inches deep. Items can be stored only the depth of one bottle or jar. Nothing in front of something else. NOW do you think you could find something in the refrigerator?
Oh… I remember reading this via my phone email Ronnie and.. YES its UNIVERSAL.. Lol 😉
That seems to be the consensus. Perhaps you just saved a Morristown marriage, if all men are like that…
LOL
Thanks for laughing at my situation. Judging from the comments I’ve read, I am not alone with this problem.
Ronnie. I found you again and caught up on your blog posts. This was cracked me up because it is so true and so universal. I actually think “the boys” know exactly what they are doing when they seemingly can’t “find things.” They want us to do it for them (all men are only two steps away from their mother in their psyche) so if they keep frustrating us to death with their inability to find things, they know that a woman’s efficiency will take over and just do it ourselves. It’s trap, I tell you! 🙂
I have a sneaking suspicion that your are right on target. Except they look so pathetically confused and so clearly in need of help.
Just a note–it isn’t only husbands–it is also sons and probably son-in-laws….cleaned out my fridge today and my son didn’t even know half of this stuff was hidden in there!!!
AHA; so we consider the entire male population responsible, huh?
Universal issue, definitely 🙂
I’m so glad that it’s not only my husband!
It IS universal, I’m pretty sure. Might be in our brain chemistries, so I try not to be too annoyed, but it is aggravating at times when our work is important and yet we are distracted this way.
I believe comedianne Roseann Barr once “joked” about the women’s uterus being a homing device for finding objects. You’ve captured this moment well, Ronnie.
yes yes yes, that’s totally my husband!! They act retarded to get you to do everything 🙂
This is so true. If only I could invent some type of GPS to locate items in the refrigerator, pantry or the closet, I’d be a rich woman.
Yes, and the line would start right here!
This is absolutely true in my home! I have 4 men – can’t look worth a damn! Plus husband loses EVERYTHING! But I’m the one that finds things, even though I don’t have the best eyesight! *sigh*
Is it eyesight we need or just plain old common sense?
Hee hee, so funny! I can totally relate. But, although I hate to admit it, hubby often helps me locate my keys, that constantly go missing.
Yes, there are some things husbands do right!~
At least your male bloggers located your comment section! 🙂 Funny post, and funny comments!
Males just love our company; that’s why they’re always asking us to find things for them.
The best anniversary card I ever found and immediately bought (yes, at today’s prices for cards before I discovered Trader Joe’s 99-cent bargains) showed a husband bent over, peering into the refrigerator. On every shelf, all you could see were packages labeled “butter.” Nothing else there, no tall milk cartons, no containers filled with leftovers. The husband says, “Honey, where’s the butter?” Case closed.
That’s hilarious. Did you buy a case of those cards? I’d give them to all my friends as a little gift.
And thanks for the .99 cent card tip. I didn’t know about that.
I’m lucky if I can find the refrigerator.
In that case I wish you luck in all your future quests, searches and adventures.
Very funny comment.
Hiding things from your loved one is a very unpleasant trait:)
I assume the smile at the end of your comment means you’re kidding, right?
totally true….I was told it was because they do not have a uterus !!!!! Apparently that is our tracking device. Who knows, I tend to think it is a learned behavior. Somehow they find things when we’re not home. Another gender mystery….
“Gender Mysteries” Is that the name of your forthcoming book?
Haha, very true, Ronnie! Like they absolutely hate asking for directions! 🙂
A rather endearing quality, I suppose…
Hi,
I will also confirm this is fact. I think it is definitely part of their DNA. 😀
It’s also true in Australia? Yesterday they had no trouble finding the barracuda, did they?
Yes definitely true in Australia, and your right about the barracuda as well. 😀
Yes, I think you’re right – it is universal. Wives across the globe refuse to give husbands EXACT details about where to find cartons of milk and other essential items! Your allegation, ma’am, is 100% true! 😉
Perhaps I should measure out exact distances with a slide rule and explain exactly where it is.
It is indeed true, and the condition is even more acute in teenage boys. Glad I am not alone in my frustration with this disorder. 🙂
In this case I’m not sure misery likes company, but I’m glad I’m not alone, anyway!