I was taught, “Always be well-groomed and neat.” I can manage the neat part of the equation, and used to be able to manage the well- groomed part as well.
That was until my eyebrows awakened, grew into middle age and became power-hungry. Their texture changed, becoming wiry, uncooperative and a different color! After all those years of my preparing to look organized they forced me into a jostled, tussled demeanor. This eyebrow revolt overpowered my resolve and life long training.
When I want to go in one direction, an eyebrow hair or two decide on a detour. If I run errands around town the eyebrows decide its time to wander somewhere else. I take one road, they take another. Fearless and feisty, those eyebrows! We just can’t seem to agree.
One evening a program on television featured a story about a man with a reputation for his amazing skill at taming wild animals. If he could teach a jungle leopard to behave and obey, why can’t I tame my eyebrows? Could he keep them from curling upward and outward? Dashing sideways? Veering downward? I’ve tried everything: gels, sprays, even mustache wax! Nothing works. Nothing holds them in place. Nothing makes them behave. To paraphrase an old saying, ”You can’t keep a good eyebrow down!”
I am left to ponder the state of the world and its more serious misfortunes. Revolutions, accidents, murders make my problem seem less drastic and tend to put things into perspective. But these are passing tragedies, while my eyebrows are here for life.