Where are you, my creative blogger friends, when I need you? Please put on your thinking caps and come up with some great answers to my problematic question.
Here’s the situation:
A few blogs ago I wrote about my broken ankle. It’s still broken, still imprisoned in the hard boot, on crutches and still keeping me from driving, hiking or decorating for Halloween.
But when I do get out, due to the kindness of my driving friends, I am besieged with questions like:
“How did you do it? What happened? Did you have surgery?” And other obvious, curious and nosy ones.
I feel as if I owe these intrusive curiosity seekers an answer. But not just an ordinary answer: the truth would be too boring. Why bother to intrude on someone’s privacy unless you can get an interesting response? Here are a few I came up with; can you give me any other ideas?
Question: How did I do it?
Answers:
“I think it must have been something I ate.”
“It was during a sky diving accident.”
“I got thrown from a wild stallion when I tried to help a friend break him.”
Please don’t let all the pain and inconvenience of this unfortunate accident be for nothing. Let’s give them something to talk about!
MorristownMemos 
Comments on: "HOW DID YOU BREAK THAT ANKLE?" (52)
Okay the timing is off on this but how about, “Well I just got back from seeing ’50 Shades of Grey’ and …”
or a more sedate, “Fell off my pointe shoes in ballet class”
“You don’t think ‘all that’ is over at our age now, do you?”
(as you wink-wink at the asker)
Never!
I was giving you a comeback 😉 xo
Hello Ronnie,
It’s good to read your blog posts again. As it appears, I’m several posts from being ‘current.’ That shouldn’t discourage me, of course *smiles*
First off, I’m (again) sorry you broke your ankle. For sure, people will ask questions. Sometimes providing them with the answer, straight up, can be boring. So why not get a joke or two in the way? I completely relate.
Pardon my asking, it’s a lot better now, right?
Yes, thank you, Uzo. It is a lot better now. I agree that in giving an explanation it is a good thing to get a joke or two in there. Thank you for asking.
I had to take over the wheel when Walter Mitty’s broken arm got too painful. After a stray sheet whipped across, catching my ankle, I had to steer the ship to safety standing on one leg.
or
The problem with the new apartment is that it is no longer on the ground floor, so when I stepped out for a breath of fresh air …
Is there a Pulitzer Prize for making up whoppers? You’d be in the running!
Just call me Hieronymus Carl Friedrich Baron von Münchhausen!
Sure; as soon as I can learn to say it without laughing.
I know what you mean. You almost feel compelled to dramatize the situation just to satisfy them. I have a long surgical scar on my left arm from breaking it when I fell in the shower. But a simple fall is so boring that people seemed disappointed when I told them how it happened. So I started changing my answer. “Well you see, there was this tiger . . . ” It was fun to see their eyeballs bulge like in a cartoon.
How about starring out with, “Remember that story of the tiger who escaped from the traveling circus?”
Well, here’s how I did mine, I fell over a root while chasing after my 3 year old grandson, who was trying to climb though the fence to pet the bull.
But a lady I know broke hers when a baby zebra, of 4 months old, stomped on it!
Your truths are stranger than fiction.
My friend Rosie came to work one day, on crutches. I asked her what happened. She said….Got old.
That’s probably true than any other excuse.
How about an old classic. Just say, “You should see the other guy…” as you (slowly) walk away letting them think you were in a brawl and the person who broke your ankle is in a lot more pain because of you!
That was a terrific line; could I pull it off?
Sure. The key is to say the line, turn away and don’t look back. (That way, if you feel the urge to smile or giggle, they won’t see you.) Hope you heal really fast and you won’t need any excuses!
Chasing down bad guys! 🙂
That’s an old fantasy of mine; how did you know?
Hahaha! Your dreamed up reasons for a broken ankle are hilarious! Add: I went on a diet and lost weight, but it weakened my bones. 🙂 Or: It’s the latest Apple I-phone. I can wiggle my toe and call out! 🙂
Sure, Dor: blame everything on poor old Apple.
You told me you ate a bad apple. I believe in fairy tales, so you must have been reading “Snow White”. Keeping them all guessing. “If you can dream it, you can do it”, famous quote from Walt Disney.
Al the important lessons life teaches can be reduced to Disney:”A Dream is a wish your Heart Makes.” I wish I could drive my car again! Walking would be nice too, but driving is #1 on my wish list.
Ah Ronnie, dear one, my ankle took a year to cast off my moon boot. But I walked (hobbled) on it for 11 weeks and 4 days before being diagnosed and operated on first! It is now almost two years since the operation, and I am still hobbling a bit.
It depends on exactly what you broke, and how old you are.
I did a serious number on mine, plus tore ligament, tendon and left the bone looking like post toasties! And I’m 55.
Be patient!
Doing the triple lutz at the ice skating rink
How about the tripe lutz at the olympics tryouts? Think big!
I would start off with “when I was on safari….” from there on there is no end to what you could add…. running from elephant, kicking a hippo, fighting with snakes…. but one I heard a friend use when he broke his knee…. “test riding the new Harley bike”
OH, those are wonderful! Thanks, Rob, I can’t wait for the next person to ask.
Just tell them nothing’s wrong and you’re merely being fashion forward…
The scary thing is that some people would believe that. Maybe even get one of their own.
That would be the fun part! Seeing the hilarity you inspired…
Alright then, I’ll take one in sky blue.
I make a game out of it. The first time, tell the truth. Then, every time you tell someone, make it a little more extreme.
Example: let’s say I twisted my ankle tripping over a rock.
1st time: “I tripped over a rock.”
2nd time: “I tripped over a rock on Mount Everest.
3rd time: “I tripped over a rock on Mount Everest when I was almost at the peak, and had to turn back.
4th time: “The President asked me a personal favor; he wanted me to climb Mount Everest. So I did, but just when I was almost at the peak, I tripped over a rock and had to turn back.”
5th time: “The President asked me to climb Mount Everest with him, but just when we were almost at the peak, he tripped and I tried to catch him but tripped over a rock myself, twisting my ankle, and we both had to go back.”
…and so on from there.
You are brilliant; I love that answer, but I’m not sure I’ll remember where I was in the story. It’s a little like what me father always used to tell me, “I’m not smart enough to be a good liar. I’d never remember what story I told to whom.”
I’d go for an extreme sport answer– but still like the truth– maybe it will help others be careful. Who knows.. we’re all always seconds away. Keep your sense of humor.
Great advice, Lisa. Thank goodness my sense of humor was not injured with the ankle.
I love these explanations, Andrew. Especially the one about the bar fight and how I shouldn’t have kicked the guy.
some possibilities:
I was rescuing a cat from this house fire when I tripped over the fire hose on my way out.
It was just simple bar fight – I knew I should have hit the guy with the pool cue rather than try to kick him.
I was being chased by space aliens and tripped over a tree root.
Well, next time I am building a brick wall, I’ll be more careful about were I stack the bricks, I can tell you that.
Let me tell you, never climb on the roof with out a safety line. Lucky thing it was only my ankle that got broken.
If you need more, let me know. I am married and can come up with tons of stories on the spot.
I love those answers, Andrew, especially the bar scene where I should have hit he guy with the pool cue instead of kicking him.
Tell them it’s a highly specialized robotic leg, but you can’t tell them any more about it because the information is classified…
That’s fabulous! I didn’t realize how devious my blogging buddies really are!
If only truth be known! you were climbing Mt. Kiliminjaro or was it Mt. Everest; at lease that’s what you told me. Amazing how you made it back home in no time at all from those dangerous climbs. All your bloggers should know that you have been brave and positive and not lost your “sunshine” through all the pain and discomfort
Harvey
How kind of you to say. Even though you have made it possible for me to stay far away from grocery stores, dry cleaners and the stove for the last month!
To the question: How did I do it?
Response: Do what? (when they look at your foot or say the obvious)
Say: “Oh that. It’s the latest in footwear in haute couture. I only bought one because a pair is way too pricey.”
Hope you’re out of your cumbersome cocoon and back to normal soon. 😉
Do what? That’s hilarious! Great answer, Judy; I can’t wait until the next person asks me.
Great post, Ronnie. This reminds me of when I fractured my kneecap, many years ago, just by tripping and falling while crossing a parking lot. (It actually took me days to realize that it was fractured.) I remember asking people with inquiring minds to guess how I had fractured it. If somebody wanted to believe it was because I was skiing, parachuting, or doing a high jump, fine!
Every one of has a story about some sort of medical problem and yet everyone still asks dozens of questions.
Sometimes I think people want to know simply to help them avoid having the same thing happen to them. (Although that’s no guarantee.)
It’s nice that you give people the benefit of the doubt.