It’s a myth. There is no way men can satisfy dreams of relaxing at the end of the day with their aching feet immersed in soft, warm, comfortable slouchy slippers.
How can they exist when nobody sells them any more? I have checked. They are simply no longer available. My husband, Harvey, and I went into every single store in the Mall. Department stores, shoe stores and every other store except Victoria’s Secret, asking for men’s slippers. Every salesperson told us they do not carry mens’ slippers. “Maybe at holiday time,” some of them offered, but otherwise men’s slippers no longer exist on the open market in the free world.
What happened? When did this travesty befall mankind?
DAN’S SLIPPERS ￼
Where have they gone? Has organized crime taken over the mens’ slippers distribution operation? Who do you have to know to be privy to the stash of this valuable commodity? Is there a secret password to whisper? A secret knock on the door to gain entry to the rich cache of mens’ slipper stock?
If slippers are no longer available, what do men wear on their feet when they get home from work and want to relax? What do they slip their feet into when they get out of bed in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning? Do men walk around barefoot Behind closed doors? Even in frigid winter weather?
What happens to the loyal “man’s best friend,” when Master returns home at night? Has the dog’s role changed? What does he bring if no slippers are in sight?
And that’s not the only notable change. Podiatrists are suddenly swamped with male patients flocking to their offices for from splinter extractions. These splinters were acquired from clomping around barefoot on wooden surfaces.
Sales of air fresheners have tripled since options to hide feet in slippers have disappeared. Naked bare feet are shockingly stinky. And ugly! So stock up on slippers when the holidays come around to guard against the threat of mens’ bare feet appearing in your home.
As for the rest of the saying, “slippers and pipe,” I’m happy to tell you that pipes are not yet considered contraband. Although they cause health concerns they are still available for purchase in a store near you.
Your dog will be so grateful; and relieved to have his job partially restored.