True stories with a twist!

Disney: a name that lights up the eyes of youngsters and lightens the wallets of adults.

We’ll make childhood fantasies come true and take the family on a Disney cruise.

imgres-1.jpgViolet, 3, asks, “Can I bring “Piggy?”

Big brother, Sebastian, 5, asks, “Will pirates come on our ship?”

Xander, bigger brother, 7, wonders, ”Can we eat hot dogs every day?”

Matthew, eleven, asks, “do they have an ice hockey rink?”.

Younger brother, David, 9, says, “Can you eat all the free ice cream cones you want?“

Twin sister, Julia, asks, “Will I meet Cinderella?”images-3.jpg

As we board the ship, we notice a few adults, and children, children, children every where. Surely there have never, in the history of the world, been so many children together in one place. They’re jumping, running and screaming. The adults look befuddled, confused and uncertain.

A honey toned voice coos us inside. As we walk from one area to another, a staff member offers each of us a pop-up, pre-moistened, antibiotic infused towel. We are now fit for imgres-2.jpgDisney, cleansed of any lurking harmful bugs: sanitized, deloused.

“Hi!” a cheery voice says to our group, “So happy to meet you. I’m Mary Lou. Let me show you to your rooms. What adorable children!”

“Here is your room, sweetie,” she gushes to the youngest family members. “Isn’t is perfect? Mommy and Daddy will be right next door.”

To the next oldest children she ecstatically announces, “Your room has three beds and a bathroom all to yourselves. Your parents will be right through this door.”

Finally, she croons to us as she leads us to our quarters next to the others, “You can have privacy but still be near those darling children.”

She sounds as if she is announcing our winning the lottery. I never saw such ecstasy in the plebeian act of showing guests to their rooms.  images-2.jpg

We unpack and report to the dining room for lunch. “Welcome, welcome. We are so happy to see you,” another happy staffer gushes as if we were old roommates.

We are seated and Violet spills her glass of milk. Before anyone can react a cheerful staffer swoops up to us with, “Oh, honey, don’t worry. It’s alright; we’ll clean this up and get you another glass of milk.” And the new offering appears before a single tear can even think of emerging.

“I don’t like this menu,” complains David, our sophisticated and opinionated nine year old gourmet. At home he’d hear: That’s what’s for lunch. Eat it or wait for dinner.”

“That’s OK.” says our waiter. “Come with me and I’ll show you the whole kitchen. The cook will make you anything you like.”

Is this place for real? Who could live up to this kind of flexibility at home?

At the pool comes a confrontation. Xander has a special fondness for his shark patterned bathing suit and wants to wear it everywhere, poolside or landside. “Xander, put on something reasonable,” his parents demand. Suddenly a dulcet  eavesdropping  voice from nowhere croons, “That’s a great and very scary bathing suit. Let’s put this jacket on top, so the shark doesn’t get cold.” Xander is compliant score another point for Disney.

“Come on, buddies, let’s all go and watch the parade”  suggests a Pied Piper wannabe suddenly appearing before us. The children jump up and follow, sublimely anticipating the appearance of their favorite cartoon heroes.

“Where’s Cinderella?” asks Julia. “Come here and you can shake hands with her,” warmly offers yet another Disney disciple. Julia is overcome with excitement.

“Where are the pirates?” Sebastian challenges. “Oh” says a staffer who must be an agent for the Pirates’ Union, “that’s a special surprise. Shhhh; don’t tell anyone,” he says, as he takes hold of Sebastian’s hand. In the next instant we are under attack from a pirate ship. Sebastian shrieks with delight and fear, as the patch eyed pirate approaches. “Take this,” says the staffer, and hands him a toy sword.

But his little sister, Violet, is unhappy. She announces her distress with ear splitting screams. “I don’t want to take a nap.”

How do children keep from rupturing their own eardrums with their loud screaming? Mine are just about gone!

But sugar coated Disney gal approaches with a Disney promise.

”Children who take naps right now will dream of Mickey Mouse. Of course you want to see him, don’t you?”

These Disney folks are all so happy, cheerful and sweet that it just isn’t normal. It isn’t real. In fact it is becoming irritating. I don’t believe this over-happy, overly sweet world.

Oh, for just a smidgeon of sarcasm. A smattering of selfishness, A degree of dissatisfaction. How I long for just one honestly grumbling, miserably grouchy, unreasonably irascible someone just like the dear folks back home.

Comments on: "GETTING TO KNOW DISNEY" (15)

  1. ProsperityAndCalamities said:

    Disney Cruises truly are magical. My husband and I absolutely love them and we don’t even have any kids!

  2. It was beautifully appointed; my biggest problem with the visit was the endless promotional souvenirs they offer for sale to entice young visitors.

  3. Oh Wow.. Ronnie, what an experience.. I know of someone who went to Disney in Paris. They said it was Perfect.. But I think yours was PERFECTION..
    Wishing you well.. Love and Hugs..
    Sue xxx

  4. I envy people who have good experiences with Disney. Clearly, those of us who were unhappy with our Disney times are in the minority, but…being the one who was called on to take all the out-of-town visitors to Disneyland as a teenager made it a bit more boring at best. Thankfully, I was able to pretend enough to give my own kids a happy time in the Magical Kingdom.

  5. I’ve always wondered about a Disney cruise! We live near SoCal Disneyland and our children and grandchildren have grown up with many Disney experiences. Through my adult eyes there have been many times I’ve cringed at the over-the-top noise, crowds and high expense. But I have also been to Disneyland with children who badly needed something fun and fantastic and a change from some difficulties in their little lives. Disney is not real life, and that’s kind of the point, isn’t it! I think your Disney cruise sounds just wonderful…a little loud, but wonderful! LOL!

  6. Everyone can keep calm with children when they are only there for a very short time. With parents, it’s a whole different matter. Bet even these young helpers explode after work in some way. Glad your kids enjoyed the trip.

  7. Those aren’t people, they’re robots or possibly aliens. I bet the kids would like that too. 😉

  8. Well I’m envious you can take your grands on a trip like that, even it if is Disney. We took our kids and it was quite horrible years ago. Not for us.

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