It happens every year during the holiday season. Anticipation and good cheer abound. Except for the agony of getting anywhere to see anybody.
Battling traffic is enough to start a cycle of migraines in the healthiest of people.
How we can eliminate the traffic problem while still getting everyone where they want to go?
Here is my plan:
Every car owner periodically must renew his car’s registration. I propose that every time you send payment in for the new registration you get back not only the new registration, but a date for jury duty and a “Holiday Time Slot.”
With the new Holiday Time Slot everyone will be assigned a given time to travel. Since Thanksgiving is the most heavily trafficked holiday in the United States, we will start the new program on Thanksgiving, 2018. The efficacy of this groundbreaking new plan will be measured and evaluated.
Some travel time assignments may be more convenient than others. But when people understand the value of open roads and free access through them, they will be delighted to cooperate with this effort. Just to insure that Time Slot Travel is being taken seriously, decals will be issued stating the hours that this car is authorized to be on the road. Those not traveling at their appointed times will be issued traffic summonses.
One family may be assigned to travel at 9AM. This assigned time slot could turn some against our innovative and revolutionary holiday travel plan. But we offer options.
The 9AM slot, now called the “Too Early Time Slot” will be dedicated to those needing airplane involvement to reach their families. Find a family needing to travel to the other side of the USA. They need the extra time to get to their destination. If they were assigned a 3PM Travel time they will be overjoyed to switch times with you. Switching times is cleverly referred to as “The Bartering System.” This barter system will be encouraged, so all parties will be permitted to exchange their too-early time with a family assigned an afternoon time with shorter distances to get to.
Or you can be a good sport and travel at 9AM. If you choose that option you will accrue points toward next year, which you can use for an afternoon assignment. With structuring and arranging times travel will occur, we reduce traffic on the roads at any given time.
As always, taking human nature into the equation, there is the possibility of unscrupulous people using prime time slots for profiteering. Anyone caught price gauging will be barred from buying tickets to “Hamilton” for five long years. And a huge, outrageous, unfair fine will be charged for those tickets, just as it is now. But compound interest on the ticket prices will be added, whether or not the family wishes to see the show. Airfare to New York’s Broadway district: not included. It’s a great incentive!
Holidays lift us out of daily doldrums and bring people together with those they love. We wish you joy and hope you appreciate the efforts to manage massive movements of travelers we have every holiday year. Happy Thanksgiving 2018 and safe travels!