True stories with a twist!

Posts tagged ‘losing weight’


It was just a month ago that everyone was talking about the delectable treats they looked forward to eating during the Holidays. Magazines were stuffed with recipes of all sorts. They tempted their readers to eat ingredients that nobody should put into their bodies: But Would. And Did. And now suffer from “Eaters Remorse.”

Now, in January, a mere one month after the holiday magazine articles appeared, magazines are reversing their stance. Instead of encouraging readers with new fattening recipes, they rant on about how to lose the weight THEY helped you put on by encouraging you to prepare those dishes. Most of us gained weight during the holidays and most are anxious: even desperate, to lose it.

Losing weight is the number one subject of magazine articles.Unknown-1 So many weight shedding techniques abound. I even heard of a hypnotist who advertised that in a few sessions he would help you lose weight by convincing your brain to believe that chocolate tastes like tobacco.

Everybody is getting into the act: there is the “This and This Diet,” the “That and That Diet,” and the “Dr. Such and Such Diet.” Diet experts pen articles, write books, appear on TV talk shows and drop from the sky! You know what I mean;images-1 you’ve seen them yourself.

But I have a technique that is different from the others, specially if you are health conscious in any small way.

Suppose you see a beautiful chocolate layer cake topped with a creamy, delicious looking icing. What its your first reaction? Is it “Yum Yum,” or “No No?” Rather than thinking how marvelous the cake would taste, I propose that you think of the ingredients that go into that cake. Consider what you are willing to put into your body. Your poor, hard working, unappreciated body.

Ask yourself “Would I take a whole stick of butter out of the refrigerator, unwrap it, and gobble it down? Would I pour a cup or two of sugar into a large mug and swallow every bit of it? Maybe not, but that’s what you’re doing if you eat that cake. Now when I see a tempting cake I mentally reconstruct its ingredients and think of them one at a time.

Somehow the cake no longer appeals.

The big advantage of my diet is that you don’t feel deprived. That’s because YOU, not somebody else, made the decision to forego the cake. You chose not to eat it because the individual ingredients didn’t appeal to you, even though you know that the final product tastes so good.

If you like my concept for making cake seem to be unappetizing, just wait until you hear my plan for de-appetizing pot roast!


Have you ever noticed the slick, glossy covers lurking on store racks luring us to buy magazines? What tantalizing topics hypnotize us?

Juicy gossip about the newest Hollywood glamour couple? The latest scandalous divorce? Whereabouts of the latest political sex offenders?

The number one topic trumpeting from 90% of magazine covers is weight loss. How to lose weight is a more popular subject than who will run for president in 2012. Later this year everyone will know who the candidate will be. By then even more people will want to lose weight.

Fresh from TV-land emerges the popular, winsome, toned Dr. Oz. He is as slim as a praying mantis and just as revered.

I was addicted to his show as I would be if I were a Twinkies or Yodels addict. If I couldn’t watch the show I taped it and watched it later instead of preparing dinner.

Then he Oz-ified the show by adding segments describing the most important foods to add to our diets.

Naively, I once thought a bowl of cold cereal with sliced bananas and skim milk was a good, nutritious breakfast. But now I know that by adding wheat germ, flax seeds, chia and hemp seeds I will glow with good health. My hair will shine, my teeth will whiten and my knees will think they’re 25 again. Top this with fresh berries, pumpkin and sunflower seeds and I can expect to be congratulated by Willard Scott on my 100th birthday.

But does Dr. Oz have any idea of the caloric costs of these additions? He expounds more revelations: “Nuts are amazing!” Now my day is incomplete without ingesting at least twelve cashews, two brazil nuts, handfuls of almonds and scads of pistachios. And a few walnuts. And to keep my heart healthy I must include dark chocolate. I have added approximately 3,076 calories by gaining so much health. And that is only the solid food portion.What about liquid accompaniments? “Oz Law” dictates three or four glasses of calcium a day. These can be in the form of milk, enriched orange juice or a Singapore Sling with a calcium chaser. Red wine is heart healthy too. So I pour, twirl and sip some of that brew strictly in the interest of good health, strong heartbeats and a remarkably sudden cheerful disposition.

“How about mid-morning and mid-afternoon snacks?” he asks. I dutifully follow his instructions at the cost of adding another 5,895 calories to the day’s intake.

At my next physical exam my doctor is impressed with my routine test results. But with great concern he warns, “You’ve got to lose all the extra weight you’ve put on this year.”

Now you will find me in front of the magazine rack, intently reading the headlines of those slick, glossy magazines previously mentioned. I continue to look for my right answer, right diet, and right guru.

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